Banned From Walmart


After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart.

This  is why women should not take men shopping against their will…!

Unfortunately, like most men, I found  shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally  unfortunately, my wife is like most women – she loved to browse. 

BANNED FROM WALMART + happy_man_laughing

Too Funny…!

Yesterday my dear wife received the  following letter from the local WalMart: 

Dear Mrs. Samsel, 

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store.  We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from Walmart. 

Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are  documented by our video surveillance cameras. 

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the  floor leading to the women’s restroom. 

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an  official voice, ‘Code 3 in
    Housewares. Get on it right away. ‘ 

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk  and tried to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away

6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’  sign to a carpeted area. 

7.  August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.  

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and screamed, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”

9.  September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror  while he picked his nose. 

10.  September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,he asked the  clerk where the antidepressants were. 

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while  loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible‘ theme. 

12. October 6: In the auto department, he  practiced his ‘Madonna look‘ by using different sizes of funnels. 

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing  rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’ 

14. October 21: When an announcement  came over the loud-speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed, ‘OH NO! IT’S  THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’ 

And last, but not least; 

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut  the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here!’ 

This is too funny NOT to  share…..!

Steve Schellert


I post jokes often so come back again!

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